I feel like abortions should bother me more
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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