Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
