That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize