I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
