We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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