That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
