Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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