She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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