..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
