mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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