then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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