My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
