We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
