She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
