i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
