i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We need to get me chipped asap
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
