whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize