I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
