So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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