omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
