what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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