brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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