Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize