Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
