if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize