I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
