Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
True strength comes from lack of pants
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
