Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
they're like a gay fantastic four
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize