My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize