so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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