she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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