hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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