My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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