why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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