What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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