So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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