so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
