Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
