I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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