I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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