Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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