I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize