OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
