everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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