Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
