So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
