I hate your face
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
