Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
