Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
