xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just invented taco cereal.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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