mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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