no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
