I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
