I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
