I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
