Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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