The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we're making bets on your personal life
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
