Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
