you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
