Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
