Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
