in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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