my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
