Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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